BLISS Speaks

Holding Space Through Grief: Love, Loss, and Staying Grounded

Sat, 06 Jun 2026 02:14:11 GMT

Love, Loss and Staying Grounded

I’m writing this from a very tender place.

Recently, our family and our wider community experienced a devastating loss. My husband lost his “work spouse,” his brother in the Boston Fire Department, in the line of duty. There are moments when language feels too small for something this heavy. This loss has shaken so many people, and it has moved through our home in waves that are hard to describe.

I am not writing this as someone with a neat answer. I am writing this as a wife, a mother, a friend, and a woman who believes deeply in holding space when life feels unbearable.

Some seasons are not about fixing anything. They are about staying present, staying soft, and helping each other breathe through the unthinkable.

That is what this season has asked of me.

The Weight of the Roles

When someone you love is grieving deeply, you feel the weight too.

Watching my husband carry the loss of his closest companion at work has been heartbreaking. There is the public loss that a whole department and city can feel, and then there is the deeply personal loss of the person who stood beside you day after day. The one who understood the rhythm, the pressure, the gallows humor, the sacrifice, and the brotherhood without needing it explained.

My role right now has been helping keep him grounded while he moves through that grief.

What struck me most was that he recognized he needed that support and actually asked for it. I thought that was incredibly self-aware and brave in the middle of such devastation.

Not to rush him.

Not to fix it.
Not to find the perfect words.

Just to help create steadiness around him.

Sometimes that looks like quiet.
Sometimes it looks like making sure he eats.
Sometimes it looks like sitting near him without asking for anything.
Sometimes it looks like reminding his nervous system that, even in heartbreak, he is safe in this moment.

There is such sacredness in simply staying.

Holding Space While Still Holding Home

Supporting grieving people while caring for your own family is a tender balance.

At the same time, my heart has been with the partner and children of our fallen friend. With deep respect for their privacy, I will simply say that when a loss like this happens, the grief does not belong to one person. It touches an entire circle. And when you love that circle, you want to show up.

So I have been doing what so many women do: holding space for others while still keeping life moving for my own children.

There are schedules to manage, meals to make, rides, conversations, check-ins, and all the ordinary needs that do not pause just because your heart is heavy.

That has been one of the hardest truths of grief for me lately: life keeps asking things of you while you are still trying to catch your breath.

And still, I believe there is something powerful in being a steady presence. Not a perfect one. Just a present one.

The Power of Normalcy

Sometimes the most healing thing we can offer is one ordinary, love-filled night.

One evening, we hosted his family at our home. We shared dinner. There was basketball. There was singing. There were moments that felt almost normal.

Not because anything was normal.
And not because the grief was gone.

But because, for a few hours, there was an island of familiarity in the middle of so much chaos.

That night reminded me that comfort does not always need to look profound. Sometimes comfort looks like a full plate, kids being kids, laughter rising unexpectedly, and a home that says, you can exhale here.

Those small moments matter.

They do not erase the pain.

But they give the body a break from carrying it at full volume.

The Power of Community Support

Sometimes the love surrounding a loss becomes part of what helps carry everyone through.

One thing I will never forget from this experience is the overwhelming outpouring of support from the Boston Fire Department family and the entire community surrounding it.

In moments like these, you realize that the fire service is not simply a job or an organization. It is a brotherhood, a family, and a support system that wraps itself around people when the unimaginable happens.

There were firefighters showing up for one another, families supporting families, meals, conversations, check-ins, escorts, honors, and quiet moments of care happening behind the scenes constantly. In the middle of devastating grief, there was also tremendous love.

I was especially grateful to see support being offered through the WINGS organization for spouses and families navigating line-of-duty loss. Knowing there were people specifically there to help carry some of the emotional weight mattered deeply to me.

What touched me even more was learning that the founder created the organization after losing her own husband in the line of duty. There is something incredibly powerful about support created by someone who truly understands this kind of grief from the inside.

That kind of compassion matters.

Sometimes healing begins simply by being surrounded by people who understand without needing every word explained.

When Grief Lives in the Body

Grief isn't just emotional. It moves through the body and the nervous system, too.

I have seen this up close in these last days: the exhaustion, the shock, the fog, the tension, the way the body stays alert after something devastating. Grief can live in your chest, your throat, your stomach, your sleep, and your breath.

At Be Your BLISS , we talk often about nervous system regulation because in moments like these, regulation is not a luxury. It is support. It is care. It is one way we help the body feel just a little safer while the heart catches up.

You might notice:

Brain fog or trouble focusing.
Exhaustion that rest doesn’t seem to fix.
Tension in the body that won’t easily let go.
A sense of numbness or disconnection that feels strange and heavy.

If that is where you are, please be gentle with yourself. Your body is responding to something enormous.

Grief is not weakness. It is the body and heart trying to process love, shock, change, and loss all at once.

Daily Practices for Grounding

In seasons like this, small practices become anchors.

One of the most meaningful ways I have been supporting the people closest to this loss is through Reiki. Each night, I have been giving Reiki to my husband and to our late friend’s partner to help regulate their nervous systems and offer a moment of calm inside the overwhelm.

These are quiet moments.
Gentle moments.
Moments where no one has to explain how they feel.

Just space to soften.
Space to breathe.
Space for the body to come down a notch from the intensity of grief.

I believe deeply that healing support does not always have to be loud or elaborate. Sometimes it is a hand placed with intention. A calm presence. A supportive practice repeated night after night that reminds someone: you do not have to carry this alone.

And when the wave feels especially strong, I come back to simple grounding tools.

The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Practice

This is still one of my favorite “Moment Makers” for when everything feels surreal.

Look around and notice:

5 things you can see.
4 things you can touch.
3 things you can hear.
2 things you can smell.
1 thing you can feel.

Breathe Through the Wave

You can do this anywhere, even in the middle of a hard day:

Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds.
Hold gently for 2 seconds.
Exhale slowly for 6 seconds.

Quietly remind yourself:

I am here. I am safe in this moment.

Emotional Release Writing

Not polished. Not pretty. Just honest.

One of the resources I am especially grateful we already have inside the Be Your BLISS App is emotional release writing. It gives you a place to put the thoughts, the fear, the anger, the ache, and the questions that have nowhere else to go.

Some feelings need to be spoken.
Some need to be cried.
And some need to be written out so the body does not keep carrying them alone.

Carrying Love vs. Carrying Pain

Feeling emotion months or years later doesn't mean you are “stuck.” It means you loved deeply.

One of the biggest misconceptions about grief is that we have to “move on” or “get over it.” But love doesn't disappear just because a person or a chapter is gone.

You can carry love with you without being weighted down by the pain forever. Love naturally leaves an imprint on who you are: your values, your humor, your kindness. That is a beautiful thing.

A Sanctuary We Already Have

Some support needs to be available the moment life changes.

That is one reason I am so grateful that the BLISS Through Grief space already exists inside the Be Your BLISS App. This is not about a launch or an announcement. It is about having a sanctuary ready for moments exactly like these.

Inside, there are supportive tools like:

Emotional release writing for when your thoughts and feelings need somewhere to land.
Grounding flows for when your body feels overwhelmed, flooded, or disconnected.
Gentle support that meets you where you are without pressure.

That matters to me because grief rarely gives you warning. It arrives, and suddenly you need something real. Something simple. Something that helps you return to your breath and your body one moment at a time.

If You Are Carrying Something Heavy

You do not have to do it perfectly. You just have to keep meeting the moment with care.

If you are grieving right now, or loving someone who is, I hope this reminds you that presence matters. Small practices matter. Ordinary evenings matter. Regulating the nervous system matters. Compassion matters.

And if you need a quiet place to land, I invite you to spend time with the grief support already waiting for you inside the Be Your BLISS App.

For now, I am continuing to do what this season has asked of me: hold my husband close, support those walking through the unimaginable, care for my children, and honor a life that meant so much to so many.

If this reflection met you where you are today, what is one small thing helping you stay grounded right now?

Grounding Techniques That Actually Fit Into a Hectic Day

Thu, 04 Jun 2026 01:24:15 GMT

Let’s be honest: your "to-do" list isn't getting any shorter. Between the back-to-back meetings, the school runs, the endless laundry, and trying to maintain some semblance of a social life, the idea of "wellness" often feels like just another chore.

I’ve been there. I know that heavy, buzzing feeling in your chest when you're physically in the room, but your mind is ten miles ahead, worrying about next Tuesday. You’re survival-moding, and your nervous system is screaming for a break.

But here’s the good news: You don’t need a two-hour meditation retreat to find your center.

At Be Your BLISS , we believe in wellness for real life. We talk a lot about finding your Pure Rhythm . This is that sweet spot where the stress finally eases, your shoulders drop away from your ears, and your body settles back into its natural, calm state. It’s not about following a rigid program; it’s about having a toolkit of quick, intentional moments that bring you back to you.

Here are four simple, grounding techniques that you can actually use while the world is spinning around you.

1. The MoodMatch™ Micro-Break

The ultimate "I only have two minutes" solution for immediate relief.

Sometimes, you don’t even know what you need, you just know you don't want to feel like this anymore. This is exactly why we built the Be Your BLISS App . Instead of scrolling through endless content, you use our MoodMatch™ technology to tell us how you're feeling right now.

How to do it:

Open the app during your commute (if you're not driving!), in the school pickup line, or between meetings.
Select your current state (e.g., "Overwhelmed" or "Scattered").
Follow the quick tool provided. It might be a 60-second breathing exercise or a brief audio prompt designed to shift your energy instantly.

Why it works: It takes the "thinking" out of self-care. When you're stressed, the last thing you need is more decisions. The app gives you exactly what you need to return to your Pure Rhythm in minutes.

2. The 5-4-3-2-1 Sensory Reset

Pull yourself out of your head and back into the present moment.

When your thoughts are racing, your brain is living in the future. Grounding is the act of anchoring yourself in the now through your physical senses. This is a classic technique for a reason, it works!

How to do it (anywhere!):

5 Things you can SEE: Look for small details, like the texture of the carpet or a leaf outside the window.
4 Things you can FEEL: The weight of your feet on the floor, the fabric of your shirt, or the temperature of the air.
3 Things you can HEAR: The hum of the fridge, a bird outside, or your own breath.
2 Things you can SMELL: Maybe your coffee or even just the scent of the room.
1 Thing you can TASTE: A sip of water or the lingering taste of mint.

Pro-Tip: If you’re at your desk, keep a piece of our Be Your BLISS Studio™ collection nearby. Holding a cool, smooth crystal or catching the scent of a Reiki-infused candle can act as a powerful sensory "anchor" during this exercise.

3. Create a "Moment Maker" Anchor

Use physical reminders to snap out of the chaos and into calm.

Our environment has a massive impact on our nervous system. If your space feels chaotic, your mind will follow. You don't need to renovate your house, you just need a few "Moment Makers" that signal to your brain that it’s okay to relax.

How to do it:

The Reminder Jar: Place a jar of crystals or dried flowers in a place you look at often (like your kitchen counter or nightstand). (photo: Reminder to Pause: Return to Love)
The Visual Trigger: Every time you see that jar, take one deep, intentional breath. That's it. No program, just a one-breath reset. Example are wall art, decorative sitting pillow and candles)

These intentional pieces from the Be Your BLISS Studio are designed to be "wellness for real life." They aren't meant to sit on a shelf and look pretty; they are functional tools to help you feel like yourself again. Check out more about why small moments are your stress-release secret .

4. The Virtual Reiki Reset

Harness the power of energy healing without leaving your couch.

Sometimes, the tension is so deep that physical grounding isn't enough, you need an energetic shift. Reiki is a gentle, restorative energy healing practice that helps reduce physical tension and restore balance.

How to do it:

In-App Sessions: Our app features recorded Reiki sessions you can listen to whenever you have 5-10 minutes.
Virtual 1-on-1: If you’re feeling completely drained, book a virtual session to have a professional help guide your energy back into alignment.

The result? You'll feel a sense of lightness and clarity that makes the rest of your "hectic day" feel much more manageable. It’s like hitting the "refresh" button on your entire system.

The Day I Couldn't Get Out of Bed: My Journey from Chronic Stress to BLISS

Mon, 25 May 2026 20:11:03 GMT

There was a time when I was the one everyone depended on.

The mom who handled it all.
The corporate executive who never missed a deadline.
The person people called when something went wrong because somehow I always figured it out.

I was the “rock.” A fond name my father gave me in my early twenties.

And if you’ve ever been that person, you know something important about rocks. People lean on them. Constantly.

From the outside, I looked successful. High-performing. Capable.
Inside, I was exhausted.

I didn’t realize it then, but my body had been living in survival mode for years. Stress had become normal. Pushing through had become normal. Running on empty had become normal.

Until one day, my body finally said: “No more.”

The Day Everything Stopped

I woke up one morning and could not get out of bed. Not because I was tired. I physically couldn’t lift my body to a sitting position.

I was later diagnosed with degenerative osteoarthritis which was pinching two nerves in my neck. I felt no pain when I was laying flat so I was bedridden. So, I learned to work laying down with the cameras off.

The doctor told me I needed to reduce stress. My husband looked at him and said, “What else? Because that’s impossible for her.”

The doctor wasn’t exactly known for his bedside manner, but the comment stuck with me because underneath it was something I wasn’t ready to admit.

Looking back now, I know there was more happening than physical pain. Decades of living with a warped nervous system had finally caught up with me.

And suddenly, the woman who took care of everyone else needed help herself. That part broke me more than the pain.

I couldn’t care for my children.
I couldn’t do simple things.
I couldn’t be the version of me I had always been.

For someone who has spent her life being strong for everyone else, that kind of vulnerability feels devastating. At the time it felt like life had fallen apart. Now I see it differently.

My body wasn’t betraying me. It was protecting me. It was forcing me into stillness that I had refused to give myself previously. This is why it’s so important to know your body and recognize its signals.

Learning a Different Way

Traditional physical therapy and pain medicine were not working. I worked from bed, laying flat, for a month. The doctor wanted surgery. The insurance company wanted three injections first. I wanted none of that.

The physical therapist tried needle therapy to break up my extremely tight muscles. That was the first time I felt any relief. After a few sessions, he suggested acupuncture. Once I tried it, I never looked back because acupuncture worked for me.

This got me thinking; What other holistic healing practices were out there?

That was when I discovered Reiki. I didn’t fully understand it at first; I only knew I was searching for something beyond physical relief. I was looking for something that could help me feel different, not just function differently.

I’ll be honest — I didn’t know exactly what to expect. But what I remember most wasn’t some dramatic moment.

It was relief. For the first time in years, I felt calm and at peace. Not post-massage calm. Not “I finally crossed everything off my list” calm. The kind of calm where your shoulders soften without realizing it. The kind where your nervous system finally exhales and life suddenly feels a little lighter.

Looking back now, I realize I was slowly learning something I had forgotten along the way; How to stop simply surviving and begin allowing myself to heal.

The Second Wake-Up Call

Even after healing and being able to move more fluidly, I still believed I could return to the life I had always known. I eased back into old habits and back into being the “rock.” I thought maybe this time I would just manage stress differently.

But life had other plans. (As it usually does.)

Executive leadership shifted and the environment gradually became more stressful and emotionally draining. I loved my teams and I was incredibly proud of everything we accomplished together, which is why I stayed as long as I did.

Eventually organizational changes made my role redundant, and suddenly I was out of a job. It was one of the most bittersweet moments of my life.

As I searched for another corporate executive role, I found myself asking a question I had never asked before; “Why am I fighting so hard to return to a life my body can’t support?”

That question changed everything.

How Be Your BLISS™ Was Born

Be Your BLISS™ wasn’t created from some perfectly mapped-out business plan. It came from lived experience. Because I knew what it felt like to need support in the moment, not another program to complete, just a breath.

Organically, the Be Your BLISS App came first.

I created something I needed all those years ago; a tool for nervous system regulation that could actually meet someone in the middle of a chaotic life and help bring them back to calm.

No program. No commitment. Use it when you need it.

Then came the next beautiful surprise - a Divine meeting. I met Linda Joy at a women’s wellness expo. She loved the app and encouraged me to join her upcoming women’s wellness weekend to promote it.

She suggested having something tangible that would draw people to the table and help people connect with the experience. I was already creating crystal Reiki-infused candles and thought about what other items would complement the app.

That became the beginning of the Be Your BLISS Studio. What started as a suggestion for Reiki-infused candles turned into a full line of “Moment Makers” — Reminder to Pause jars, guided journals, yoga cushions, tea mugs, wall art, and more. Each one Reiki infused and designed to bring small pockets of peace into everyday spaces.

And because healing often happens best in community, another local door opened. My hairdresser purchased the salon and wanted to expand wellness services. Through a partnership with her day spa, I was able to begin offering in-person Reiki and BEMER Therapy sessions.

Somewhere along the way I realized; I wasn’t just building a business. I was building an ecosystem of calm which was exactly what I wish I had decades ago.

Three Small Ways to Start Today

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or like you’re carrying too much, you don’t have to wait until your body forces you to stop.

Try one small thing:

Lengthen your exhale
Breathe in for 4. Breathe out for 8.

Take a two-minute pause
No phone. No expectations. Just sit.

Place your hand over your heart
Take three slow breaths and simply notice yourself.

Small moments practiced consistently matter.

One Last Thing

If you’re the “rock” for everyone else, I want you to hear this:

You do not have to break before you deserve support. You do not have to earn rest. You do not have to wait for your body to say “no.” Practice saying “no” to something that doesn’t serve you.

Protecting your boundaries isn’t selfish; sometimes it’s one of the most loving things you can do for yourself.

You deserve moments of calm now.

Peace & BLISS,
Rhonda Gaybor
Reiki Master | Founder, Be Your BLISS™

Why BLISS Moments Are Your New Stress Release Secret

Wed, 20 May 2026 18:57:31 GMT

If life feels nonstop, you are not alone. So many busy people (professionals, athletes, moms, etc.) end the day exhausted but still wired. That’s why I created BLISS Moments inside the Be Your BLISS™ app .

You do not need a big routine or program to feel better.

Busy, stressed people are already overwhelmed with doing so much for everyone else. They don't need another to do for themselves. BLISS Moments are quick, intentional techniques that help calm your nervous system in real time. They are simple, supportive, and made for real life - and they work!

What Exactly is a BLISS Moment?

A BLISS Moment is a quick calming reset you can use anytime of day.

Maybe you need to breathe, pause, ground yourself, or shift your focus. That one small moment can help you feel calmer and more present fast.

BLISS Moment: Hum & Heal

This BLISS Moment is based on scientific research. A soft hum on your nasal exhale sends gentle vibrations through your sinuses, releasing nitric oxide—your body’s natural relaxant. It clears the head, calms the vagus nerve, and quiets the mind.

CAUTION: Skip this if you’re congested or light-headed.

FLOW:

Sit upright or stand tall.
Inhale gently through your nose.
Exhale while softly humming “mmm…” (don't force it).
Feel the vibration in your face and chest. Play around with where you feel the humming.
Repeat 5 rounds.

BENEFITS: Boosts nitric oxide, calms the vagus nerve, centers the mind.

BLISS Tip: Use between tasks, at a traffic light, waiting for the bus/train, in line at the store, at the end of your work shift and before bed.

Science Note: Research by Weitzberg & Lundberg (2002) shows humming increases nitric oxide. This practice is also rooted in ancient traditions like Bhramari Pranayama.

Enjoy your BLISS Moment.

Peace & BLISS, Rhonda & the Be Your BLISS™ Team

BLISS Speaks

Holding Space Through Grief: Love, Loss, and Staying Grounded

Love, Loss and Staying Grounded

The Weight of the Roles

Holding Space While Still Holding Home

The Power of Normalcy

The Power of Community Support

When Grief Lives in the Body

Daily Practices for Grounding

The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Practice

Breathe Through the Wave

Emotional Release Writing

Carrying Love vs. Carrying Pain

A Sanctuary We Already Have

If You Are Carrying Something Heavy

Grounding Techniques That Actually Fit Into a Hectic Day

1. The MoodMatch™ Micro-Break

﻿

Why it works: It takes the "thinking" out of self-care. When you're stressed, the last thing you need is more decisions. The app gives you exactly what you need to return to your Pure Rhythm in minutes.

﻿ 2. The 5-4-3-2-1 Sensory Reset

3. Create a "Moment Maker" Anchor

4. The Virtual Reiki Reset

The Day I Couldn't Get Out of Bed: My Journey from Chronic Stress to BLISS

The Day Everything Stopped

Learning a Different Way

The Second Wake-Up Call

How Be Your BLISS™ Was Born

Three Small Ways to Start Today

One Last Thing

Why BLISS Moments Are Your New Stress Release Secret

2. The 5-4-3-2-1 Sensory Reset